In 2016 I published this post outlining how I was diagnosed with PMDD.
Some of my past posts offer more background information on my menstrual health if you're new to my blog or would like another chance to read them:
Menstrual Health And Me
The Relief Of Being Offered Period Leave
This post will explore the current status of my menstrual health and my experience with medication. Therefore, this post will contain discussion of menstual and medicinal related topics. If you're uncomfortable with this then please feel free to check out a make up post or a food post instead.
Last year I decided to go vegan and now I am a very happy vegetarian. Ditching most animal products from my diet seemed to result in my periods getting a lot better. Whether that improvement was a result of my diet changing, I can not say for certain, but at the very least it seemed to help a lot.
I haven't vomited as a result of my period since the time I went vegan and as a vegetarian things are still better. My periods were never perfect or pain free. There was one time I was almost sick a good couple of months back and the pain got quite bad but it didn't last as long as it did previously. I stress that because no diet can magically cure any health condition and it's important to be realistic and understand this. Good diet helps, of course, but it is not a miracle cure.
I still have PCOS and I still suffer with painful periods. But the lack of throwing up and being confined to my bed for a few days is definitely favourable to me! I'm not sure if this will last for the remainder of my menstruating life but let's hope so! I still suffer a lot of physical PMS symptoms like sore boobs, headaches, cravings and major fatigue/tiredness. I never stopped suffering those, even when I was vegan. I also am not completely free of PMDD, I still have days where I feel sad, hopeless, frustrated, angry, etc but this happens a lot less thanks to my treatment.
Because I have PMDD I take medication to balance out my hormones. ('Natural' remedies unfortunately never helped my physical or emotional symptoms in any way) Just recently I found a dosage that has truly improved my life beyond anything I could have hoped for.
I feel like this is important for me to say. Because medication is all too often slapped with negative labels. Some people can be so fast to judge it. I presume because sometimes there are side effects or because some people only feel comfortable with 'natural' treatments. As if, somehow, using medication is 'wrong'. Thankfully, times have changed and people's attitudes have improved greatly so many people are considerably understanding and accepting nowadays which is lovely.
Medication has saved my life and given me my life back simultaneously. PMDD is a condition that tends to worsen with age and mine most definitely has. It worsened to a frightening level. To the point where if I hadn't been so lucky as to have the option of medication, my quality of life would no doubt be horrific right now.
Without medication, I was horrifically depressed, anxious, angry, emotionally exhausted. My body was physically drained constantly from fighting through the PMDD related mood swings. That was enough of a struggle without the added pressures of outside influences on top of it all.
I stopped caring about myself and my life. I refused to do anything I loved because I was sure it was pointless. That I wouldn't get anywhere. I was convinced nobody would care about my work or about me. That other people in my field of work were better, more talented, more worthy and that I was completely irrelevent as a human.
Socialising was a big struggle too. I felt isolated because my condition is not a common one and not many people understand it. Hell, I barely understand it! I felt like I was some kind of 'freak' who deserved to be lonely. And even repeating that back for this post really hurts my heart.
Since beginning a new dose of my medication my life has just kept improving. It isn't perfect by any means but it's doing a lot better.
I'm learning to drive - something I put off for years because I was convinced it was a waste of time for me to put effort into learning so I could have more work opportunities because I wasn't special or talented enough.
I've started a new youtube channel (link is in my nav bar at the top of this page) and I make videos regularly now. I had a channel before but I used to think it was stupid for me to put any effort into it because, somehow, I wasn't 'enough'.
And this very blog right here. I've owned this blog for some years now and it's only within the past 6 months or so that I gathered enough courage to produce content. It has led me to some absolutely wonderful places so far and I couldn't be more grateful. Producing content for this blog makes me feel so incredibly happy. I want to do it for as long as I possibly can.
I have endured the most brutal of storms in my life over and over and thensome. Now it finally feels like there's a possibility of rainbows coming from all that rain. My life is not perfect. Not everything goes my way and I don't always get what I want. I still struggle some days. But in comparison to how things were before to now, I feel much more optimistic.
My medication is the reason I'm able to feel so much better in myself. I had to try several types before I found a good balance so it wasn't a simple overnight thing by any means. But now it's literally given me back my true personality and my life that PMDD robbed me of for so long.
I just wanted to write this post as an update and to demonstrate that not all medication is horrendous. It actually helps some people in extremely positive ways. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad if this applies to you too.
Be open to finding ways to help yourself because, even though you may not believe it right now, you're important and you deserve a good quality of life.
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