DISCLAIMER
This post contains discussion of personal topics including menstruation, cervical screenings and medical experiences. If you are not comfortable with these subjects please check out a make up or food post instead.
My first screening was unplanned and unexpected. I was at the hospital for an appointment to discuss my painful dysmenorrhea (which you can read more about here) when the doctor asked if I had had a cervical screening to check if there were any internal problems contributing to the problems. When I said no, I was offered one on the spot. It was there and then I decided it was now or never. I knew these tests were very important and necessary so I bit the bullet and agreed.
There was nothing dignified about laying on a hospital bed with a paper gown and my lady parts on 'display'. It was embarrassing, humiliating and traumatic for me but I made a point bearing it for the sake of my health. The doctor's attitude wasn't pleasant and unfortunately I ended up having to complain about the poor way in which she conducted the entire procedure. She had been informed prior to the screening of my anxieties but she dismissed them completely. I didn't feel too much physical pain but there was no kindness in her mannerisms, it was all very hard and clinical which, upon reflection, I now know it shouldn't have been. I went home and cried.
This time I had a pre-booked appointment. Walking to the well woman clinic I felt hopeful the experience would be better. The people who undertook these screenings, I was told, were better for the job so to speak because this was their speciality in the medical field. Knowing that these professionals carried out these tests practically all day every day (as opposed to doctors who might not do these as regularly) and would perhaps be a little more kind and understanding put my mind at ease.
The lady who carried out the procedure wasn't as compassionate or careful as she could have been. I hid my anxieties over the test because so many people had made me feel like I was being juvenile the first time around and I wanted to prove I was a grown woman who could handle her own shit. So I kept quiet. I think she misjudged the size speculum she needed. Nobody told me you have the right to choose what size they use for your own comfort. One that is too big for your body makes the test more painful and can encourage you to spot/bleed after ward. Again, nobody informed me of this and she used one that was too big for my body. It hurt a lot. After ward I was in pain and spotted/bled for a few days.
I ended up calling the clinic and directly giving her feedback. This wasn't intentional, she just happened to answer the call and I decided to be open with her about it. We had a conversation and she assured me she would take my feedback on board and ensure future procedures were better dealt with.
I think it's very important to give feedback on health care you receive. If something goes wrong and you say nothing then nothing can be fixed or improved.
That brings me to my last test which, happily, was MUCH more pleasant. It was undertaken by the same person who I saw at the clinic the previous time. I felt slightly anxious given our past discussions (and my own personal feelings towards these tests, which yes, I know is normal) but this test was a complete breeze compared to the last two.
She used a suitably sized speculum and even though it was a bit uncomfortable still, it didn't hurt even half as much as the last test. She was kind, understanding and compassionate which put my nervous mind at ease. I breathed deeply through the pain I felt and the entire test was over in about a minute. I walked away from the clinic feeling much more confident about future screenings.
And I think all women deserve to feel that way. Sometimes there will be nothing you can do to crush your fears about these screenings but they are very important and necessary. Cervical screenings are not a test for cancer or other serious conditions but rather a method of detecting abnormalities. (Even abnormal results turn out to be harmless and treatable most times!) And detecting serious conditions early on is the best way to fight them.
It's okay to not like screenings. It's okay to feel fear, to feel violated and humiliated. It's okay if you need someone to hold your hand throughout it. You're not a 'big baby' for not enjoying this test or not being able to cope with them well. It's your body, your personal space that a doctor is getting into. You have every right for that experience to be as comfortable as it can possibly be. It's the doctor or nurse's duty to ensure your test runs smoothly and to treat you with kindness and compassion. If they don't, speak up. Give feedback, put forward a complaint if necessary. Find another doctor if one isn't the right fit for you.
I loathe having to complain but if I hadn't spoken up I would still be as fearful and anxious about these tests than ever. Take the steps you need to to make this test as 'comfortable' as possible.
I personally have never found the information on NHS leaflets or the NHS website helpful when it came to these tests. The sweeping statements (like 'just relax' - really now?!!) in them just turned me away completely but I am going to provide a link below. I would personally take what they say with a grain of salt. It's your experience, not theirs after all!
NHS Cervical Screenings
I hope this post was somewhat helpful! Please feel free to share your feedback and experiences in the comments!
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