Women like me have severe menstrual health problems. For me, that's Polycystic Ovaries, Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder and Dysmenorrhea. I discussed these conditions and my symptoms here
Women like myself often suffer in silence. Women like myself are often made to feel like they should shut up or stop 'complaining', take some painkillers and move along. Menstrual conditions like mine aren't often taken seriously because most people aren't aware of how debilitating they are.
My pain leaves me bed ridden. My temperature fluctuating wildly, my insides feeling like they're being knifed repeatedly. I can't eat or drink. I can barely sit up half the time. My vomiting lasts hours. I'm left unable to breathe properly during my vomiting sessions. I take progestogen only birth control pills every 3 months with 1 month break because I have PCOS and PMDD and therefore can not tolerate the combined pill. But doing so doesn't stop the pain or the vomiting on those months off. Even during my 3 months of taking my pill I'm still left in bad pain that no painkiller (prescription strength included) gets rid of. No anti sickness tablet has ever helped my vomiting either. Which is frustrating for me. The solution to my conditions just isn't there. There's no magic medicine. All I'm able to do is manage the best I can. And I want to, of course.
Because women like me want to be able to function in our daily lives. We're just prevented from doing this. We don't want to be 'that person' who 'makes a fuss'. Even though having a health condition isn't a choice and really isn't 'making a fuss'. We're still made to feel like we can fix our problems if only we try 'harder' to be a little less 'dramatic'.
I can't tell you how many special events I have missed because I have been holed up in bed, in agony and being sick. I can't tell you how many plans I have been forced to abandon because my period started (and therefore my pain started up) when I was travelling half way to my destination. One time I started bleeding heavily and ran out of pads because they couldn't keep up with it all. I had travel home for over 40-45 minutes with blood soaked jeans. I can't tell you how many times I have heaved uncontrollably into a bag on public transport because I wanted so badly to prove I was 'getting on with it' and made the mistake of going out in the first place. All I could think about was how sorry I felt for people around me having to listen to me.
I can't tell you how many times my period problems have made me reluctant to want to start new friendships or relationships because I'm terrified of being judged negatively. And I can't tell you how lonely a place that is to be in.
I can't tell you how embarrassing it was for me to start crying uncontrollably in my back room at a previous job because my anti depressants were not helping my severe PMDD that particular day. (My conditions aren't cured with medication, only managed.) To be told you're oversensitive because you have PMDD is painful. Sometimes it even made me question myself and the validity of my conditions. But as soon as I was throwing up in pain again I knew I wasn't dreaming it up. To have your condition completely undermined like it's nothing some cheery thoughts won't cure is something most PMDD sufferers have to struggle with.
There's no limit to the amount of criticism I take from people because without seeing me have an 'episode' many just don't realise how severe my condition is.
All the 3am hospital trips with my mum because the pain had gone on for 15 hours and I was still vomiting. All the injections into my hip.
Let's not ignore the heavy bleeding I suffer with which often leaves me exhausted. On top of that having to play down my conditions so nobody gets 'grossed out' by my period talk is not at all delightful.
I have the auadacity to go out there and live my life regardless of my condition. And it causes me a lot of worry in regards to employment because I perfectly understand that employers need reliable people who turn up on time and work. I'm constantly find myself battling over whether or not I should even tell my employers about my conditions but eventually I know I'll reach a time when I won't have a choice but to do so. But surely it's not much to hope that someone can understand an incurable, long term health condition? For a long time I truly felt that was too much to ask and I know many other women I have spoken to in my situation feel the same.
And I have the audacity to be thankful, relieved and happy that finally, finally there's hope of validation and support for me in the working world. Finally someone, somewhere realises what I go through is tough and wants to allow me Menstrual Leave. And it's beginning in the UK, finally. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-35700213
There's hope that for once when I suffer I won't have to worry about being punished for it anymore.
Finally my condition is being recognised, validated, understood. Because now, finally we have the beginning of some wonderful changes. Changing how women with conditions like mine are treated. Yes, we are the 'extreme' cases but we still exist. And we still need support. We don't need our conditions dismissed, put down or invalidated. I'm sure most of us have already experienced enough of that so far.
What's more important to me than those who tell me to 'get on with it' is that there will finally be something to put my mind at ease, validate my suffering and prevent me from losing any future jobs over my periods, being allowed leave on the days I suffer most couldn't be anymore welcome to me. It's a lovely dream come true.
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