I think certain labels can often be restrictive and unnecessary. All goths are individuals and have their own styles. Obviously not everyone will fit one category. Personally, I recognise my style primarily as pastel goth. Pastel goth combines 'softer' features and shades with more traditional gothic styles. I think it's sometimes assumed that all gothic people hate any other colour than black. It's simply not true. I don't hate everything that isn't 'gothic'.
This post is not to fuel or create divisiveness between goths and non-goths. I don't hate people who don't dress the way I do, nor do I judge people based on their personal clothing style. I prefer to judge people based on their character. We should all dress the way we are comfortable with. I have nothing against anything that's 'mainstream'. There's plenty of 'mainstream' stuff I enjoy as seen in my Ungoth Confessions post!
Don't take a shot for every time I say mainstream in this entire post. Seriously, you'll die.
This isn't a post complaining. I love my style, I love being a goth girl, I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm not trying to paint myself as some kind of 'super unique victim'.
At the same time, in a sea of 'mainstream' bloggers, being a gothic blogger can have its challenges. These are mine.
I feel like my aesthetic has been a reason I don't get interest from some companies or find it difficult to accept offers when I do receive them. It seems most want to work with more traditional looking bloggers who wear 'mainstream' fashion and make-up or they have very 'mainstream' products along those lines that aren't to my taste. Having 'different' physical features like coloured hair seems to only be okay when it's 'trendy' and 'toned down' so it fits more into the 'mainstream' ideals. Whatever falls outside that bracket often meets strong disapproval.
Working with companies isn't the reason I blog. But recognition for my work is something I thrive on which is why it feels disheartening that my style seems to stand in my way at times.
On the positive side, I have had some recognition from companies (some of which you can find on my sidebar, along with some awesome discounts) and that is something I'm exceptionally grateful for.
This was one aspect of my blogging journey that surprised me the most. People have been SO NICE, SUPPORTIVE AND SWEET to me.
It was a huge concern of mine transitioning from a blogger who produced more 'mainstream' content into one who not only embraced but openly shared their 'alternative passions', if you will, more fully.
I thought I was going to lose followers. I thought people would be put off by me being myself. I struggled between badly wanting to show my true passions/personality and fearing that I was risking the all effort I'd put into my work possibly being for nothing
To my shock I gained literally hundreds more followers and my views are steadily on the increase. It's all appreciated so very, very much.
There are no words for how grateful I am to the ones who have stood by me throughout my entire journey and the ones who take time out of their day to enjoy my work. Thank you will never, ever be enough.
I used to look at most other bloggers and it often made me feel like I was the odd one out. That I didn't fit in and that people might distance themselves from me because of it. That people might actively avoid being my friend because my interests and fashion choices were so different to theirs. And that did, at times, make me feel exceptionally inferior. It also left me feeling painfully left out and isolated.
Changing the way I look so someone will like me isn't something I'll ever consider. I'm extremely lucky to know quite a number of incredible bloggers who like/love me as I am. This very style is 'me' and I've never been happier now I'm in a place in my life where I FINALLY feel I can embrace it. (Let me know in the comments if you'd like a post about how I 'became gothic'!) Though the support I receive is incredible, I know there are still bloggers out there who think my style is 'weird' or 'crazy'. The number of backhanded comments I get about how my outfits are 'so cool for halloween' is both aggravating and upsetting (yeah, please avoid saying things like this to gothic people, it's just rude). Because someone's lifestyle shouldn't be trivialised as a fad just because it doesn't tend to fit 'mainstream' acceptance.
I've also witnessed people transforming themselves into a goth and then proceeding to burst into passive-aggressive style laughter, hiding their grins behind their hands, subtley calling it 'scary' and 'hilarious', treating it like it's just a novelty. Saying they'll dress up like this as a prank to scare people they know.
Wearing gothic make-up can induce unwanted 'odd one out' feels for me too. Most mainstream bloggers create looks that I'd consider very toned down and unexciting. That's not to say they are boring, it's just I prefer a much more dramatic look. When I'm scrolling instagram and see looks created by other bloggers I rarely see anything similar to what I enjoy. I have to shake off the 'should I tone it down' thoughts and remind myself my style isn't 'bad' just because it's not what most people are doing. I can't deny sometimes I feel tested when people make remarks about how wearing a berry lip makes them gothic and vampy when their style is not even close to being that way. But ya know, I go outside, I yell at some clouds, I feel better. #saltyoldladygoth
Some people make assumptions about you based on the fact that you're gothic. Many seem to assume you must be into some kind of freaky worship with terrible sacrifices (I am 1000% against any ritual that causes harm to any living being be they human or not! I heavily believe in karma and I think if you cause harm it will come back on you). Not true in the slightest. There might be some people out there who engage in harmful, disgusting behaviour and refer to themselves as member of the gothic community but believe me, they are not. That behaviour is the opposite of what gothic stands for.
Point is, not everyone's pleasant toward goths simply because they look the way they do and though it used to upset me, nowadays I fly off on my broom into the night, cackling at the top of my witchy goth girl lungs, stopping here and there to pet the little batties. Yassss.
What's one thing you like that not many others do? Let's share in the comments!
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